do nothing but watch hockey and fed coffee from Tim Horton's intravenously. This wasn't so bad at first, but after a while they also started blaring Celine Dion out of the surround sound speakers. He was being held hostage by a bunch of Canadian hosers with nothing better to do. He had to get out of there while he still had a shred of sanity left. He asked himself, "What would Brian Boitano do?" Then it struck him! Brian Boitano would....

escaped. a day or so had passed when he popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There he was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when he saw the numa numa guy starin' at him from the back of a milk carton.
Well, his heart just dropped.
So, he decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler wearing ice skates. Shortly after....