Ultimatum's are death to any realtionship.  All an ultimatum is really saying is, do this for me or else....that's selfish.  But that is just one man's opinion.

heh, maybe we should setup a counceling thread..... j/k!   

I can!  I have the hair too!  (or lack thereof)

I cannot stress to you how valuable a good friend is. I have 4 completely true friends. Friends I can talk about anything with, who do the same with me, and we respect and trust each other completely. Your wealth of true friendships is something to be valued with great care. But if it is preventing you from moving on... I dunno, I would personally try to move on and see if it does actually damage the friendship. But that's just me.

And f*ck Dr. Phil. He's an idiot. Even though he does have that stylish bald head.

So, you have been friends with this guy for a little over a year and have recently become "active" with each other. Well, you wanted bluntness so here it is. I'd be a little suspect on the friendship thing if he says that part can no longer happen if you two aren't together. To me this just sounds like he was just your friend to get in your pants. Speaking from experience, this was his plan all along. It happens quite often that a guy will become friends with a girl because he wants her for more. If there's no chance in hell in getting anything the friendship will end swiftly. But, without knowing the background of how you became friends (through other friends, at a local concert, etc..) I can't be 100% sure.

Bottom line.....he sounds like a douchebag.

No way don't listen to the rest of these guys!!!!  You should do exactly what he wants and ablige his every demand no matter how selfish and demeaning..He'll respect you for it in the end...  haha  sarcasm if you didn't already pick up on it.


As for your only friend. make some new ones....hell look at all the attention you've gotten since you started posting in these forums.  These guys are dying to be your friend.  Some of them are even somewhat cool...somewhat:)

thing is, we dont have any other friends. literally. we've nothing. all we do is play world of warcraft together and he calls and texts me every day. calls me during his breaks at work and everything. i talk to one other person and that's it.
he and i met at a concert. his band was playing in allentown and i drove there to check them out and meet him. but i knew it wouldn't lead to anything because it was his job to be a flirt. it came w/ the band and the rockstar Crap. but and ever since, he's been open and honest w/ me about everything that's been goin on in his life. same from my part. and he's at a point in his life where he says he views everything differently than he used to at my age (stfu).
his life is kinda... super Fudgeed right now because of the touring. he quit to get away from that lifestyle and is trying to stabilize his life again.
the reason i wanna move over there is because i wanna start my own life. i feel suffocated here.
we've already worked and planned out the living situation w/ 2 other people.
it's a mess.

the whole ultimatum thing hurt. he's a naturally jealous guy, and paranoid. i'm the same way but i can hide it better. it came down to "im sick of all of it, every relationship has been Crap" kinda thing.

but i trust him enough to feel that if we did have this benefits thing going on, he wouldn't go out "looking" per say.
we're very similar in the way that we're super modest, self conscience, insecure, and all that good stuff.
im just concerned about wanting more eventually, doesn't even have to be him, it might, i dunno, but then losing him as a friend. because he's literally my everything. and vise versa.

Well, if you're sure of the feelings between you two and that it wasn't a front to get in your purple, BoP, High Priestess Robes of teh Sex then he sounds like he's being an insecure jerk. If he is really your friend he'll understand that you're not ready to be totally committed at the moment and it won't affect the relationship one bit. If that doesn't work, like someone mentioned earlier, make new friends. Of course, unless you have a fake ID, we won't be able to hangout for awhile