1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
       A. Lovemaking
       B. Screwing
       C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only
     after you've both shared:
       A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
       B. Your blood-test results.
      C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:
       A. Your partner climaxes first.
       B. You both climax simultaneously.
       C. You don't miss ESPN Sports center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
      A. Healthy, creative love-play.
       B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
       C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend
          need to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman
     you've just had sex with is:
        A. The best part of the experience.
        B. The second best part of the experience.
        C. $100 extra.

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month.
    You tell her that it is:
        A. Of no importance to your affectionate feelings for her.
        B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
        C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
        A. A myth
        B. An oxymoron
        C. A moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
        A. Appetizer is to entree.
        B. Primer is to paint.
        C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
        A. "I hope we can still be friends."
        B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep
        C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."