http://www.bofunk.com/video/6312/funny_news_broadcast.html

LOL, nothing like a list of things NOT to do to a paranoid schizophrenic.

Actually, seriously no joke, I had to commit my mom into the hospital psych ward wednesday.  She is a paranoid schizo.  This vid is funny but what you may not realize is that the stuff they are saying, a person with the illness actually believes.  My mom actually believes people are out to get her.  All the curtains in the house have to be pulled to keep people from looking in and every light in the house has to be on to light every dark corner.  She often barricades her front door with everything from kitchen chairs to the chest deep freeze.  She hears voices all the time, if you watch her face you can see her expression change as they talk to her...it's really creepy.  My dad passed a year and a half ago and lately moms new delusion is that she's remarried to John Johnston from Altoona (no address, no phone number, no way to contact him, go figure) and she's been pregnant for the last 10 months even though she had a hysterectomy 27 years ago.

The state police know me by sight now and have me on speed dial lol.

The really sad thing is how hard it is to get help for people like this.  A new law got enacted years ago to 'protect' these folks.  The law states that you cannot involuntarily commit them unless they pose a danger to themselves or someone else.  Sounds reasonable right?  So last winter my moms power in her home stops working.  I go over to try and fix it and she will not let me in, for 3 days.  So she has no power, no heat, and eventually no water as on the second day the water pipes freeze due to the single digit weather.  So I call crisis and my lawyer to get her help....not only does crisis say that she is not a danger to her self (they call her behavior a 'lifestyle choice') but should I force my way in to her home I will be arrested for breaking and entering.  Yeah.

But I gotta laugh at this goofy Crap to keep my own sanity, and share it.  So keep em coming, I'll never forget my dad once telling me that with moms condition he never knew who was coming to dinner lol.

Oh and never tell a para schizo that the government can watch them through the color red, that's just mean.

That sucks. I actually found it be accident and have a friend going through what seems to be something like what you described. I figure laughter is better to help one through.

"laughter is the best medicine" wasn't said for nothing. still sorry to hear that though. i couldn't imagine the acclimations one would have to live w/ to make them feel somewhat secure every day.