1. "I assure you, mine is bigger!"
2. "Hillary, you OBVIOUSLY don't understand what to do with a penis. Here, allow me to demonstrate...."
3. "Sorry, George, but your milkshake brings THIS boy to the yard!"
4. Somewhere a Motel 6 is missing its pillowcases.
5. Tired of doing nothing but choking his chicken for the last 4 years, Ralph Nader again enters the presidential race