DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous.................Slept with everyone
Athletic......................................No tits
Average looking....................Moooo
Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Feminist..........................................Fat
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former slut
New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned.............................No BJs
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Professional....................................Bitch
Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
Large frame.................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

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