Your sentence structure is atrocious. The elementary grammar that one normally should know is nonexistent in this spiel. Your redundant use of word combinations(ie. "Needless to say") is mind numbing, and the overall flow of the aforementioned spiel, not to mention the subject matter, is painful to read at best.
I doubt you will take heed to this advice, but if you do actually have an adaptive learning circuit in that head of yours, I'd urge you to put it to good use.
I'll expect to see the revised draft on my desk by next Monday. In fact, just toss it in the can. I have every confidence that it won't be an improvement.
