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LAN Party Forums => Jokes and Fun => Started by: The Shoctor on July 19, 2005, 09:46:06 AM

Title: "Why I hate the Newspaper." From a friend.
Post by: The Shoctor on July 19, 2005, 09:46:06 AM
THE YEAR'S BEST
[actual]
HEADLINES OF 2004:

Crack Found on
Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong
in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign
to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a
Ring of Debris
around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]

Miners Refuse
to Work
after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to
Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope
for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect! ]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]

Cold Wave Linked
to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple
Slain; Police
Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds
Up New Bridges
[you mean there 's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning
Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity
Looks for Larger
Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes
Blame for Gas
in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make
Nutritious
Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School
Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued
by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Title: Re: "Why I hate the Newspaper." From a friend.
Post by: The Shoctor on May 15, 2008, 04:19:46 PM
 :angryfire:*I call for the demonic powers of the forum gods!* :angryfire:
KABLAM!! :furious:
I raise this thread from the beyond! :chair:



How come no one replied.  :bigcry:
Title: Re: "Why I hate the Newspaper." From a friend.
Post by: Agent4054 on May 15, 2008, 04:25:36 PM
It was marked as spam and thus, treated as such.
Title: Re: "Why I hate the Newspaper." From a friend.
Post by: {ShadowWX} on May 15, 2008, 05:57:42 PM
that was extremly funny shado i certenly got a chuckel out of it.
Title: Re: "Why I hate the Newspaper." From a friend.
Post by: The Shoctor on May 15, 2008, 06:01:40 PM
Oh the Grammar Nazi brought up my old posts in another thread so I raised this one from the dead.
Title: Re: "Why I hate the Newspaper." From a friend.
Post by: Mr.Tibbs on May 15, 2008, 06:32:09 PM
WHY GOD WHY!
Title: Re: "Why I hate the Newspaper." From a friend.
Post by: llDayo on May 16, 2008, 07:56:52 AM
Quote from: ShadoHawk on May 15, 2008, 04:19:46 PM
How come no one replied.  :bigcry:
We didn't know you. You were like the little nerdy kid at the school dance drinking punch and bopping off beat in the corner. We're glad you got some rythm now and can join the party.
Title: Re: "Why I hate the Newspaper." From a friend.
Post by: sully! on May 16, 2008, 09:36:12 AM
Quote from: llDayo on May 16, 2008, 07:56:52 AM
Quote from: ShadoHawk on May 15, 2008, 04:19:46 PM
How come no one replied.  :bigcry:
We didn't know you. You were like the little nerdy kid at the school dance drinking punch and bopping off beat in the corner. We're glad you got some rythm now and can join the party.
QFT

You were the weird new kid and we weren't quite sure if we came near that you wouldn't bite us and run away. So we just smiled, nodded, and kept quiet. Now you're a full-fledged member of the asylum. We know that you're harmless as long as you're on your meds.
Title: Re: "Why I hate the Newspaper." From a friend.
Post by: DoubleG on May 22, 2008, 05:46:31 PM
HIGHSCHOOL STUDENTS CUT IN HALF...MMM.