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Author Topic: Standard IT Responses  (Read 1308 times)

Offline _!Rathe!_

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Standard IT Responses
« on: March 03, 2009, 04:09:54 PM »
I am curious if anyone has a list of Standard IT Responses for problems.  If not let's create one.

#1.  Try turning it off and on again (reboot)
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Offline sully!

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2009, 05:10:41 PM »
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Offline The Nstuff

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2009, 05:48:15 PM »
if you deal with consultants, they have a favorite phrase:  "do the needful"

I see here that your printer doesn't work, but you tried re-printing the same thing 30 times.  Would you like me to delete these from the queue for you?

Can you recreate the problem?

So you woke me up at 2am because you couldn't submit an expense report?

I have no idea why the helpdesk sent your ticket to me.  Please wait while i get them on the line and find out where your ticket should go.
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Offline decepticon

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2009, 06:19:57 PM »
Quote
I see here that your printer doesn't work, but you tried re-printing the same thing 30 times.  Would you like me to delete these from the queue for you?

Yeah, I have to say that one at least twice a day.
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Offline BB_Bricky

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2009, 07:26:36 PM »
Quote from: nstuff on March 03, 2009, 05:48:15 PM
I have no idea why the helpdesk sent your ticket to me.  Please wait while i get them on the line and find out where your ticket should go.

I got one of those a few weeks ago. Frigging foreign outsourcing.
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Offline Loqiel

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2009, 08:34:45 AM »
"If a reboot doesn't fix it, we'll just replace your computer."

This is what happens when your job doesn't hire IT people and instead "trains" them from their internal workforce.
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Offline _!Rathe!_

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2009, 08:39:25 AM »
Quote from: Loqiel on March 05, 2009, 08:34:45 AM
"If a reboot doesn't fix it, we'll just replace your computer."

This is what happens when your job doesn't hire IT people and instead "trains" them from their internal workforce.

If everyone has the same computer with roaming profiles that is actually a valid way to fix it.  Then you take the old system and apply an image of a base system with the programs your company needs already on it.  Fixed computer.  I am going to reimage a system this morning actually.
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Offline Loqiel

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2009, 09:30:13 AM »
Except I don't know that they know HOW to fix the broken ones.  This IS the Federal government, after all.  For all I know, they're all stuffed away in a holding room somewhere, gathering dust.
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Offline _!Rathe!_

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2009, 10:03:44 AM »
Quote from: Loqiel on March 05, 2009, 09:30:13 AM
Except I don't know that they know HOW to fix the broken ones.  This IS the Federal government, after all.  For all I know, they're all stuffed away in a holding room somewhere, gathering dust.

New Plan

Step 1: Find room
Step 2: Steal computers from room
Step 3: Profit
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Offline Loqiel

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2009, 10:22:10 AM »
You sir, are brilliant.
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Offline gravdigr

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Re: Standard IT Responses
« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2009, 03:44:17 PM »
Here's a fun response from a dsl company a friend of mine got...

Friend: Yes, the dsl is not working.

Tech: Did you reboot your computer and reset the DSL modem?

Friend: Yes

Tech: What OS are you using?

Friend: Linux

Tech: We do not support that OS.

Friend: It's not the OS, it's something on your end.

Tech: We cannot ascertain that because we only support Microsoft OS.

Friend:  Are you reading this from a paper?

Tech: Yes.

Friend: Is there anyone there that can help me?

Tech: not unless you use a windows based OS.

Friend:  So I guess we're done then.

Tech: It seems so.  Were you satisfied with the service you received today.

Friend:  I'm so satisfied I'm switching to cable :click:
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