Oh I love Raiders of The Lost Ark. I did when I first saw it, and still love it just as much. Though, I thought Temple of Doom and Last Crusade were kinda dumb :P Well, Last Crusade not AS bad... but Sean Connery was kind of a brainless dork in that one. But this one just butchers it... don't read below if you can help it. Shut your eyes if you feel like it.. But I have to rant about a few things that are simply bogus.
*****SPOILER SECTION****
(though, to be honest, they don't spoil much)
At one point, Indiana was seeking cover from a nuke blast(during the countdown) in a f*cking refridgerator, then getting tossed about a mile away, coming to a crash landing as he cleanly rolls out of the fridge and stands up and smiles.... There's far fetched, and then there's just stupid.
The Indiana Jones series has always been based around corniness. But this movie isn't corny. It's just poorly written and conceived.
Oh yeah, but the most juicy part of the movie was the plot! I swear, it feels like it was written by a 13 yr old with reading disabilities and who lacked any visualization for plot flow. Raiders had plot flow, it had character introduction, some character depth even! You know what the Crystal Skull turned out to be? The skull of an alien! Oh But it gets better... Guess what? You know that legendary City of Gold the conquistadors were trying to find? Due to some nomenclature mistranslation of "Gold" which was really meant to mean treasure, it's just a bunch of archeological finds stored in a rather dinky chamber. Remember that alien skull? Well the temple actually covers up an alien spaceship, which, at the end of the movie, does this nifty sequence where it tears up the ground, destroys the temple, and randomly takes off. Meanwhile, the debris left from the whole debacle is left hanging some 2000 feet in the sky for a few seconds before abruptly plummeting to the floor. The whole scene was bizarre.
My only explanation for this disaster of a movie is that the writers thought, "Oh hey, this looks cool, lets throw this in here because we can! ... Hey lets put in some CGI prairie dogs at random spots in the movie because they're cute!"
I read a review before I saw the movie that mentioned the girl... Marion.. as being vibrant as ever. BS. In Raiders, she was feisty, a handful, and was part of the movie. Here, she was wishy washy, kindof dense, and reminded me of my 1st grade teacher. But every character was like that. The whole movie reeked of "WTF". Raiders had this darkish air about it. It made the movie more gritty and sensational. LucasFilm is going to make big bucks off this movie from the name alone. But the quality of it was horrid =(
Oooook... {ENDRANT}
Topic: New Indiana Jones Movie (Read 1233 times)